To a Brother, In Loving Memory
At that moment I couldn’t stop myself and the tears I cried welled up in front of my eyes as I stood watching him and I became afraid, afraid that I had lost him. I loved him and now he was gone forever and I blinked and blinked struggling to see through the tears as the hospital lights lit them up like crystals to prevent me.
I peered through those faceted sparkles trying to see his face but instead my mind’s eye saw us as kids at Hirsch Creek in the halfway knee-deep rapids chasing the humpies, the sunlight glistening like diamonds off the waters a-boil with the churning of hundreds upon hundreds of humpback salmon. Bent at the waist and holding a salmon by the tail, he was grinning back at me and beckoning over his right shoulder in his beige plaid shirt with brush-cut rusty red hair, water pouring over and past the forgotten tops of his gumboots. It was all-silent, but clear as yesterday.
It was then, in that room, that things changed for me, inside me. The calming energy that passed through that space in that time carried a message to me that he was not gone forever, but that he is with me forever.